SUICIDE

 Distroty reality

faint ethereal decadence

vain feelings forgotten at the bottom of the abyss

stormy sea inside and out

we fight against a non-existent god

hell is the paradise of the new gods

the rebel who carries the truth on bloody golden wings

it is falling backwards in the sky

and we embrace each other in a farewell song

because every beginning has an end

tight like knots around the neck

you are about to suffocate to breathe

in a circle we free ourselves from the chains.

Trisk

the messes you intrigue

with the lies you weave

like a sweater that fits you too tight,

burns like a wound that never healed

that little crack in your soul.

you are lost in a world

that belonged to you in a dream

the crystal lies you tell yourself to escape a life you never wanted to live...

a knot that gets tangled

because you don't know how to weave a canvas,

legs moving

because you can't bring your voice out.

dizziness,

you don't know what you want

because you can't bear to be part of a wicked game.

like a silent killer

who sets a trap for himself

kill the reflection of yourself in others.

one step forward and you sink

among the many memories that you pretend to forget, and come back,

unaware that, with a few more breakthroughs

you would have found paradise...

​

Deepression

 I close my eyes

because so I can enter

the heartbeat, it doesn't exist, it's too fast

I feel like dead

hands shaking

and all colors are just shades of black.

There is chaos around me

and I can't, I can't put in order.

External noises, I remain lying down.

And the days go by,

I throw things into the void,

I do not care

'cause can't I breathe...

and suddenly I cry

and I scream.

No one around understands,

I feel like wrapped in a cloak of steel

cold, heavy and dark.

I close my eyes

because so I can enter

the heartbeat, it doesn't exist, it's too fast

I feel like dead

hands shaking

and all colors are just shades of black.

goodbye

 when we leave

people realize that a star has gone out

but if we stay here no one looks at us

what an unfair world it is

if in this universe we are only indelible memories

which are erased with acid

and covered with concrete.

we are all so alone

surrounded by nothing

that seems to us everything

until we agree

of what we have lost

to have that emptiness

which falsely fills us

and so I say goodbye

to all that goes away

because if I get lost and you don't follow me

I'll cancel it on the way.

alone and it doesn't understand (echo of desolation)

*Now my life is like being in a reverse tunnel
the further you go the lower you fall
it was better and better yesterday,
the uncertain tomorrow and the today that no longer passes*
Where is my seat? my home?
when is my time?
in sweet thoughts I get lost,
I melt in the illusions of other people's masks,
in dreams that will never come true.
I tie an invisible knot to love
maybe a noose, loophole ... but it doesn't hold.
I'm tired of chasing life
to feel anger in the hope of standing
when it's stormy outside.
They hole up in my house.
Life changes all the time
and I'm not ready every time to tear and rewrite pages with my blood.
strangers look, judge and do not understand
the immense silence that I have inside,
they are traumatized by what they do not understand
and I feel more and more alone.
I put my heart into everything that I do on time
people throw away like trash.
Not reciprocating.
*Some days it's sunny here, it costs dearly.
Every day I survive by distraction.
Sweetness is bitter,
the drive for death calls me.
So I would fall into an endless sleep,
don't wake me up again in this spiral of brambles*
no one to talk to,
no one wants to talk to me
I hear only a more and more distant echo of my feeble voice.

 *Ormai la mia vita è come essere in un tunnel al contrario
più vai avanti più cadi in basso
era sempre meglio ieri,
il domani incerto  e l'oggi che non passa più*
dov'è il mio posto?
quand'è il mio momento? 
nei  pensieri dolci mi perdo, 
mi sciolgo nelle illusioni delle maschere altrui,
in sogni che non si realzzeranno mai.
faccio un nodo invisibile all'amore
forse scorsoio... ma non regge.
Sono stanca di rincorrere la vita
di provare rabbia nella speranza di rimanere in piedi
quando fuori ci sono le tempeste.
Mi rintano in casa.
La vita cambia di continuo 
e io non sono pronta ogni volta a strappare e riscrivere pagine con il mio sangue.
gli stranieri guardano, giudicano e non capiscono
l'immenso silenzio che ho dentro, 
rimangono traumatizzati da ciò che non comprendono 
e io mi sento sempre più sola.
Metto il ccuore in ogni cosa che puntualmente 
la gente butta via come spazzatura.
Non ricambiando.
*Qualche giorno qui c'è il sole, costa a caro prezzo.
Ogni giorno sopravvivo per distrazione.
La dolcezza è cosa amara, 
la pulsione per la morte mi chiama.
Così vorrei cadere in un sonno  infinito,
non svegliarmi pipù in questa spirale di rovi*
Nessuno con cui parlare,
nessuno che voglia parlare con me
sento solo un eco sempre più distante della mia labile voce.

falling down

falling down falling down falling down to see

falling down falling down falling down for me

falling down falling down falling down i keep

falling down falling down falling down to me.

I see the lights,

and the shadow inside me

which takes the form of a black cloud

and the wings bleed and fall at the whistle

on my knees, I hear the sound of singing

I was not born here.

falling down falling down falling down to see

falling down falling down falling down for me

falling down falling down falling down i keep

falling down falling down falling down to me.

black and white spiral

I fly and vomit and cut myself

reverse tears and smiles.

psychotic distortion

chaotic sensations of rational emotions

despair.

heart scar -daddyissues

It's 9 pm, 

it's raining outside, 

you are five years old, 

you hear screams,

you hug yourself 

and hold a teddy.

black horns, 

daddy's little bad girl,

 yellow eyes, 

the enemy ...

they say ...

red pills that melt in my mouth

in the silence of the night

it was possible to live

 in this straight dimension.

I go against the wall straight,

dance in the blood.

All of a sudden 

the music goes out,

Red and blue.

You're twenty again,

the blood is gone,

 the heart-shaped scar.

the heroine that now is devil.